Featured image: (Pacer graphic / Darby Self)

Love is a hot-button subject as of late with Valentines day around the corner.

You can find it in multiple forms, platonic, romantic and familial. I understand that familial and platonic love are completely different from the love that comes with having a romantic partner, but that type of love isn’t the end-all-be-all. 

Being single is also a funny thing when you sit back and think about it. The people who are in relationships with their high school sweetheart or married for 20 years will tell you the same thing-love will come to you when you least expect it.

That is one of the most done to death, aggravating, insulting feeling comments that you can get as someone who is chronically single. It just doesn’t feel like that time is going to come for you. It feels easy for the person in the relationship to say, because they haven’t lived it in so long. 

The truth of the matter is, everyone wants what they don’t have. Single individuals have opportunities that those in relationships may never have, while the same could be said the other way around. It doesn’t mean that either side is more fulfilled than the other. 

There are plenty of advantages to being single, such as: having the freedom to do things without reporting to another person, being able to focus on deepening other connections, more money for yourself, you don’t need to worry about constantly navigating a complex emotional bond and you can garner self-reliance and independence. 

Being single provides the opportunity to practice self love and growth that just isn’t possible in a relationship. Though you can grow in other ways with a partner, some people need that alone time to really figure themselves out. In regards to Valentine’s day, you aren’t saddled with the expectation of catering to a partner and the expectations they may have for the day. 

You can sit in and watch movies, hang out with other single friends, go home to family or have a chill night in. I know that you are probably rolling your eyes if you’re single and reading this, but sometimes having a day of self love and reflection, or spending time with friends can be better than stressing over presents, dates and just spending money that you could have used to buy yourself a cheap box of wine and chocolate. 

I don’t know about you, but those have never failed me. 

Just as well as there are advantages to being single, there are obviously things that many view as disadvantages. Some examples being: not having your person, feeling left behind, lack of intimacy and the overall loneliness that comes with it. 

Though not having a date on Valentine’s day is one of the lonelier feelings in the world, there are plenty of opportunities to make the most of it. What other excuse do you have to sit in, watch a terrible movie and down a pint of ice cream by yourself? That sounds like a party to me. 

On a real note, making time with your other single friends for just taking a day for yourself can make the day that much less disappointing. At the end of the day, though it may not seem like it, it’s all about your outlook. If you look at being single as unfortunate or a failing on your part, it’s going to feel that way and even make it harder to find your person. 

If you look at being single as an opportunity to deepen the friendships you already have and growth, you’ll find that it can be rewarding. There is also nothing wrong with searching for love, but letting it come to you is just as valid of an option.