Featured image: (Pacer graphic / Sophia Phillips)

Women aren’t really dating like they used to, leaving many wondering why. 

I’m not going to get too into the weeds with statistics, but female college students with a Bachelor’s degree report that it’s much harder to find a partner that fits their expectations. Though a lot of it depends on the area, men generally not living up to their standards after women pass an educational threshold, or general busyness after graduation, dating just isn’t really in the cards. 

A small part of the reason  is fictional men show up the real ones and make dating look like a joke. There are plenty of men from most media that make men out to be gentlemen; they give gifts, make grand gestures, and actually pay attention to the woman they love. 

It sets the standard higher for real women and makes it less likely that they will settle for anything less. 

There is also the factor that women in Gen Z are significantly less likely to put up with mistreatment and are overall less tolerant with their boundaries being overstepped than previous generations. Men in media such as tv shows, movies, books and anime are easier to project onto through means such as day dreaming, fanfiction and fan made spaces. 

I picked an example from an anime that has been popular recently that I’ve seen over the years who ranges from just plain attractive, to setting the standards with his, but cool personality. Starting off with a character from “Jujutsu Kaisen”, Nanami Kento. He checks the boxes for both the areas of kind and attractive. 

Nanami represents the type of man that women would love to have as a husband. He is depicted as polite, has a well-paying job, and he’s just as handsome as they come with a built frame. He even takes the role as a guardian and a mentor for the students that he helps. 

He has amassed a loyal following of fan girls for good reason. Women like his cool and calm personality with the idea that he would be more of a traditional husband as seen in most of the fandom spaces. 

There are also men dressing as these fictional men to pull women at conventions. I’m not cheapening cosplay as a means of just attracting others, but some men do genuinely do it for female satisfaction. 

Nanami cosplayers also gain huge followings on social media and have gained a lot of attention at any convention that I’ve ever been to. 

He alone may be setting the bar pretty high. Imagining this hunk of man as your husband makes it hard to imagine going for someone that can’t even be bothered to hold a door open for you. 

It may seem like I’m joking, but there are a number of characters, animated or real, that wrack in the same appeal, if not more. When there are characters like this out there, written by both men and women, it leaves women wondering why regular guys can’t even have half the decency of the characters that they can project onto. 

This projection can lead to unreal ideals and higher bars to be met, but sometimes it sets standards where they should be. Women deserve to feel loved on their own terms just as well as men. There is nothing wrong with having standards, even if they do seem a bit high.